FT: “Capitalism isn’t really democracy – official”
‘There is such a thing as society.’ PM’s statement
By Terence Hoffman in Westminster
The United Nations of Westminster, Whitehall and Washington have signed an accord stating Anglo-Saxon democracy is “not necessarily capitalist in nature.” The communiqué, released to mark Equal Rights Day, signifies the final deconstruction of neopostmodernist economics. It also declares the rule of law’s victory over corporate interests.
“Capitalism doesn’t work in a free market,” the document says, quoting the Seventh Circular of the Post-American Church’s Infernal Screed. “To function, it needs regulating, and to thrive it requires manipulation.” Britain’s break with dominator culture started at the 2009 climate talks, though the Copenhagen Consensus deleted all reference to it. Instead, that deal was framed as “sustaining ethical business, going forward.”
Today’s propaganda release is more forthright, describing postideology as “a framework-based market, not the market-based framework” of times past. “If you gave more than you got you were always a loser,” the statement concludes. “But we were only winning by claiming our economies were ‘growing’, and to do that we had to take
much more than we gave.” Measured in debt and destruction, the costs were clear, and the planet’s resources were obviously finite. Yet it was only when rich countries agreed to steep emissions cuts that these sorts of imbalances could be discussed. The result was the world’s first “planned retrenchment”, reducing annual energy use by 10 per cent across the member states of the Organisation for Ecological Cooperation and Deescalation.
“Exceptional times call for exceptional clichés,” the Prime Minister told a newscast from his potato plot. “A decade of reverse ‘growth’ has been a nurturing experience for all of us. We’re giving more than we get, we’re restoring
nature and we’re helping those less fortunate than ourselves.” The shift to localisation has revived democracy, he stressed, from the smallest chain of Rhizomatic Councils to the Globalised Umbrellas protecting everyone.
“If there’s one thing no one can dispute,” the Prime Minister said, “it’s that no matter how weak we made it, there is such a thing as society.” All we have to do now is make it work again.